June 22, 2022

How to Elope Without Offending Family

Did you know that one of the biggest reasons why couples decide not to elope is because they do not know how to elope without offending family members?

As an elopement photographer and videographer, I am always blown away chatting with couples and other creatives in this industry. Three out of five conversations I have about elopements include talk revolving around family getting offended over the concept of eloping.

HERE’S THE THING:

We can’t control how other people react. The only thing we can do is hope they love and support us in the decisions we make. If they can’t do that right now
hopefully, they will understand one day.


Want to learn what you can do to elope without offending your family? KEEP READING (or watch the video below).

Family Members gathered around Bride and Groom during their sunrise elopement | Elope Without Offending Family

WHY DO COUPLES CHOOSE TO ELOPE

Whether they aren’t a fan of wedding planning or they would rather do something more fun than standing in a receiving line, there are lots of reasons why couples choose to elope.

WHY DO FAMILIES GET THEIR FEELINGS HURT WHEN OTHER MEMBERS CHOOSE TO ELOPE?

Weddings have been around for a LONG time. I mean, the first evidence of marriage dates back to 2000 B.C. Honestly, they probably go back even further! Pretty cool, right?

I could go on forever about the history of weddings, but I don’t want to bore you too much! Basically, all you need to know is that weddings have been a big deal in family circles for a long time! Through the years, lots have changed, but their familial importance has remained the same!

The problem with this? As elopement rates increased, so did family arguments. That, my friends, is why you and I are here, right now, today!

COMMON REASONING FOR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
SURROUNDING ELOPING

ONE
Committing to another person is so special. It’s an experience that the people
who love the couple getting married would love to share.

TWO
Traditions run deep, and previous generations were expected to follow tradition more closely.
With modern changes, more couples are able to stray from tradition and be societally accepted,
but family members might note be as open to the idea just yet.

THREE
Elopements can seem like a shameful, quick, and reckless thing to previous generations.
Helping them understand why you’re doing it for POSITIVE reasons is going to help them understand.

FOUR
Marriage is the joining of two families. Those families feel that because of this,
they should be able to take part in that special moment.

Couple on Elopement Day snuggled together while reading | Elope Without Offending Family

SMALL INCLUSION OPTIONS TO ELOPE
WITHOUT OFFENDING FAMILY

INVITE THEM TO PART OF THE DAY

ASK YOUR FAMILY TO WRITE LETTERS AND/OR CREATE VIDEOS FOR YOU
TO WATCH DURING YOUR ELOPEMENT

INCLUDE THEM IN OTHER PARTS OF THE CELEBRATION:
Dress Picking, Reception, Celebration Vacation, Elopement Gallery Viewing Party

Two individuals holding rolled letters during intimate elopement

THINGS TO SAY TO YOUR LOVED ONES TO AVOID
OFFENDING WHEN CHOOSING TO ELOPE

“We love you and value the important part you play in our lives together,
but we want our wedding experience to be just for us”

“We don’t know how to invite anyone without inviting everyone,
and so in order to not offend others, we are going to keep our elopement to just the two of us.”

“We won’t be having anyone with us during our elopement day,
but we want you to be a part of the celebration another way/day…”

Ask them for their preference if you’re open and that feels good:

“We have chosen to have an elopement that is just the two of us for our wedding celebration.
Are there any particular experiences/feelings/traditions of a
wedding that you were looking forward to celebrating with us?
I’d love to find ways that we can still celebrate our marriage with you that
feels good to both of us.”

Taking the time to explain your reasonings to your family is one of the best ways to show your respect for them. It gives them the opportunity to understand why you have made the decision to elope.

Little children delivering rings to the bride and groom during their elopement ceremony

THE TRIED AND TRUE WAY TO ELOPE WITHOUT OFFENDING FAMILY ON THE HAPPIEST DAY OF YOUR LIVES

The best way to ensure no one is offended when you elope is to make sure your day is FULLY and WELL documented throughout your day. This could be through photos and/or videos.

When you are able to come to your family members with special memories for them to view, the chances of them being offended drop exponentially. I mean, think about it! You are able to experience your day with no distractions from family members. Your family gets to still experience it afterward!

It is a win-win!

Trust me, as an elopement photographer and videographer, you just can’t go wrong with this option. Luckily, I have a few availabilities, and I would love nothing more than to help your document your day.


If you only take one thing away from this blog, let it be this… BE TRUE TO YOURSELF.
If you enjoy the concept of “throwing tradition in the wind,” my advice to you is to remember what brought you to elope in the first. Don’t let the fear of offending your family keep you from ACTUALLY experiencing your wedding day.
I PROMISE THAT YOU WON’T EVER REGRET IT.

DID YOU ENJOY LEARNING HOW TO ELOPE WITHOUT OFFENDING FAMILY?

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